A man was working on his motorcycle on his
patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. While revving the engine on
the motorcycle, it somehow slipped into gear. The man, still holding the
handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and the motorcycle came to a
stop on its side inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the
dining room, and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the
motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the
phone and summoned an ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the
wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the
paramedics to her husband.
After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the
wife up-righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas had
spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some papers towels, blotted up the
gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.
The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home.
After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done
to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the
toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it
between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife, who was in
the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming.
She ran into the bathroom and found her
husband laying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was
suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. The wife
again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance. The same ambulance crew was
dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the
husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street.
While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one
of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told
them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the
stretcher and dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke
his ankle.
A young man was making his way home on a rather cold night on
his motorcycle, on an old road full of bumps and holes. Ahead he spotted someone
waving their arms by the side of the road. An elderly gentleman had skidded his
automobile off the road, and was stuck deep in the mud.
The motorcyclist offered to give the man a ride about 3 miles into town. The
elderly man accepted the offer. Before the grateful motorist climbed aboard the
cycle, he was advised by the motorcyclist to reverse his coat, back to front, to
protect him a little better from the cold night air. Then they set out on the
bumpy road to town. The biker said nothing until he reached an open convenience
store. "Here we are," he yelled out looking back, only to find he was alone on
the motorcycle.
"Good heavens," he thought, "the old guy must have fallen off!" He turned the
cycle about and began retracing the ground. A mile back he came upon his former
passenger, lying motionless on the road, surrounded by a small group country
folk.
"Is he badly hurt?" cried the motorcyclist.
"I'm afraid so," answered one of the country folk. "We were in our house over
yonder when we heard his moans. When we found him he was in terrible shape. His
head had been twisted clear around! My son and I twisted it back just as fast as
we could, but ever since, he hasn't moved or made a single sound!"
At a press conference late Monday, the CEO of Johnson Marine, makers of
Johnson outboard marine engines and other recreational equipment, unveiled a new
line of heavyweight cruiser style motorcycles designed to compete head to head
with industry leader Harley-Davidson. Peter Long, Johnson's Brands Marketing
Manager said, "We have studied the market and determined that Harley,
while highly successful, has narrowly missed the mark when targeting motorcycle
buyers." Long added, "We at Johnson are convinced that our product hits the
target dead center and promises to draw sales away from Harley Davidson in a way
no other motorcycle has been able to accomplish."
The new line of bikes, marketed under the name Big Johnson Motorcycles, will,
according to Long, deliver what Harley has only promised. "Our research show
that this, a Big Johnson, is what Harley buyers are really after." At the
unveiling of the new line Monday, several current Harley owners agree. "When I
bought my Harley, what I really needed was a Big Johnson," said one Harley
owner. "But I see now that riding a Harley is no replacement for having a Big
Johnson."
Manager Long also said that his company would follow the lead of Harley-Davidson
and cash in on a huge market for non-motorcycle related products. "We realize
that not every guy can have a Big Johnson," said Long, "But image is very
important to people. If they don't have a Big Johnson, they at least want to
project the image of having one."
Asked if he anticipated Big Johnsons showing up in the hands of Harley owners,
Long said it was unlikely. "I just don't see the need to have a Harley if you
have a Big Johnson," he said. "And I can't imagine someone who spends all their
resources to acquire a Harley having a Big Johnson. I think it boils down to
this - You either have a Harley, or you have a Big Johnson, but you are not
likely to have both."
"Given the choice," said Long, "I think most guys will opt for the Big Johnson."
Another force driving sales for the company will come from women. A survey of
the wives and girlfriends of nearly 1,000 potential motorcycle buyers indicates
less than 5% would approve of their partner spending $20,000 on a Harley
Davidson. But, when asked if they would be willing to pay the same amount of
money to get their partner a Big Johnson, nearly 4 out 5 thought that would be
money well spent.
One female present at the product unveiling was quoted as saying, "There is no
way I will let Lonnie drop 20 grand on another one of those Harleys, but 20
grand to get him a Big Johnson? Well, that's something we could both enjoy, and
it's something he really needs."
Carla Roundheel, manager of the dealership network now being established, said
her motto is simple. "I service what we sell."
Big Johnson Motorcycles will be traded on the New York stock exchange under the
abbreviation PNSNV.